Always
by simply-a-freak
Summary: Mello and Matt after kira is killed, the situations they get themselves into,and the feelings they have for each other that become stronger ..rating for Mello's colorful language and well..ya know ..on later chapters
1. Change

Once the Kira case was closed , Mello was never the same again .He didn't laugh , didn't smile , didn't talk to Matt as much as he used to , didn't even throw tantrums at all anymore , it's like all emotion have been drained from him , for months he has been this way , just sitting around looking into space thinking , Matt was always there with him , he always looked at him, thinking maybe he'll meet his gaze like he used to maybe he'll get angry and throw a fit, really, Matt was up for anything to get the old Mello back .He did all sorts of things to piss him off, put the volume as high as it can be when he was playing , smoked inside the house ,wore pink pajama's in hopes to cheer his friend up , he bought his favorite chocolate ,he talked to him _a lot _in order to annoy him , but nothing ever worked, like he was some kind of a stone replacing the usually angry blond..

Today didn't seem any different , the blond woke up at five in the morning to find Matt still on the floor playing one of his games, he sat behind him on the couch, Matt wasn't surprised the least bit , it has been like this for a while. "Morning" he said though he knew Mello wouldn't answer , he never did anymore .It was silent between them , you could hear the buttons' clicking on the controller , and the occasional 'Matt the king of games has won …again " happy dance, that of course Matt was performing .He was shocked , really when he heard Mello speak , he missed his friend's voice .."why?" the blond asked

"why what ?" Matt posed his game and turned to his friend, his lost expression was gone and now replaced by a frown .

"why the hell did you do it ? why the hell did you help me ? you made it clear when we were back at whammy's that you didn't give a shit about L's position , as you made obvious that Kira didn't matter the least bit to you, so why ? why risk your life for something you couldn't care less about ?"

Matt thought this through , wasn't it obvious why he did it ? but he had to answer." you needed my help"

"LIKE HELL I NEEDED YOUR HELP !" Mello shouted , Matt couldn't help but fear for his life, it's been a while since the blond had let his feelings out , so there was a high possibility that this situation would end up with a) a trashed apartment b) a dead or a severely injured Matt c) both of the previous options . There was no way out of this ..

"What was I supposed t do ? you were looking for someone to do the job , I happen to know how to drive , and.." he looked at Mello straight in the eyes " I just wanted to help my best friend ! is that such a bad thing ?"

"Help and get killed in the process are two different things ! if you weren't wearing that bullet proof jacket and the other shit to cover your arms and legs you could've been killed , what if someone shot you in the head ? you would be dead by now you idiot !"

"would you stop with the 'what if , what if ?' it didn't happen , we both survived , kira is dead , L is avenged , and you were the one who put the pieces together so why are you saying this now ? it's been two and a half months Mello , it's in the past let it lay there, stop sulking and let's move on !"

Mello glared at the redhead hard then spoke again "answer my question with the truth Matt , why the fuck did you help me ? and don't you dare say I needed you to , that's not a good enough reason that someone would risk their life for a friend "

_So this was what this is all about huh ? _he thought "you're not just a 'friend ' you're my best friend and have been since we were freaking kids, so yeah I'd do it again if I could, I'd die in a heartbeat for you, and you should know that before this happened …I love you .." the last three words came out on their own , Mello eyes widened in shock and his mouth opened and then closed like a fish , not knowing what to say he just stared at his friend , Matt was getting uncomfortable under the chocoholic's gaze so he started thinking of some way to get out of the situation , he knew Mello wouldn't stop being friends with him because he had feelings for the guy, but he didn't want things to change between them, he didn't want things to become awkward , they were beyond the phase where their bond could simply be cut off, it was just impossible, they were too close, they knew everything about each other and both believed that they would be best friends forever , as unreal as it sounds..

Mello recovering from his shock, his face softened as he looked at his friend terrified face, was about to reply ,but was cut off by the redhead who thought he found a way out of the situation..

"yeah , like I said I care about you _dude ,_I mean we 're best friends right ? and we should look out for each other "he gave the blond a nervous smile "you know I love you " the blonde's heart started beating incredibly fast and then completely went dead as the next word reached his ear ",man " the redhead laughed nervously "ha-ha hah ..of course I love you ,man .."Matt repeated his heart breaking at the blonde's expression _, was that hurt , disappointment ? sadness? Why ? I thought I had relieved him when I said that..would it be awkward if I wanted to hug him now ? well I'm already screwed so .._the gamer stood and walked toward the couch , he stopped right in front of Mello he bent down and held the blond in his arms, he was surprise when Mello's arms snaked their way around his waist pulling him closer ,and resting his head on the smoker's shoulder . He heard the blond sniffle, he thought for a second that he was crying, but he thought nothing of it ,he heard him do it again , now he was curious, he slowly pulled away and was about to ask him if something was wrong when the blond shouted "YOU FUCKIN' ASSHOLE !I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH MY STUFF ! HOW MANY TIMES WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO ACTUALLY LISTEN ? DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKIN' EXPENSIVE THAT CHOCLATE SHAMPOO IS ! "

_And a second ago I thought he was all fragile and love-y ..silly me _Matt thought _this one is more like the Mello I fell in love with _, he mentally smiled ,running to the bathroom trying to escape an angry blond with an empty glass in his hand threatening to throw it in his friend's face .._damn ..I missed this .._

**So this is a new fic obviously , it's mostly focused on Matt's thoughts and actions ..there **_**will**_** be more chapters and most likely won't take long since I wrote this thing in six minutes while having lunch XD so please tell me what you think , review ..? **


	2. Wtf!

**Mello**

Shit, I can't believe I almost confessed to him yesterday, that bastard ! I should've known he was just innocently saying that as my friend, but when he said it, all sense in the world had disappeared.. anyway I must not let my feelings show, we'll go shopping today, we haven't done that since the Kira shit started ..

He's sleeping next to me, breathing steadily, his lips slightly parted, we've always shared a room together, a habit we never really gotten rid off after the Whammy days, not that I'm complaining or anything. I got us to share a king size bed under the pretext that we don't have enough money to buy separated beds, ya know, and I didn't forget to use the 'because of all your games and smokes argument', not that we never shared a bed before, we did it a lot when we were kids, especially when it was cold or when there was a rain storm or something, , even after things went well with the mafia he didn't say anything about it, even though we had the money to buy a new bed. Oh well, doesn't matter as long as it gives me an excuse to touch him and cuddle him while –Ahem- pretending to be asleep. Shut up don't judge me ! that is the only chance I get to do that! Plus he always held me back, it may be because of the fact that Matt was always a touchy feely person, not that I mind to tell you the truth, or because he was simply asleep and found a source of heat, either way I'm glad he doesn't freak out and jump out of bed when I do it .

Any way back to the present, now, I'm watching his pink previously mentioned parted lips, well I've been waiting so long to do this, I lean forward so that my face hovers above his, I look at him taking in the sight before me, I leaned down just enough that our breaths mix together, and just as I was about to make my final move, his eyes snap open, and I was met by deep blue orbs, Matt's face turned to the color of his hair and I fought a blush and succeeded if I may add, we stared at each other , none of us moving, of course I backed away a bit, I thought I'd break the silence "shopping time!" was all I could come up with at the moment. I jumped off the bed "I'll shower first" I announced leaving him wide eyed on the bed.

**Matt's POV**

What the hell did just happen ? I opened my eyes and Mello's face was so fucking close to mine I mean _come on_ it looked like he was gonna kiss me or something, maybe that's just what I hope he was doing, he was probably reaching to grab his phone or a chocolate bar from the night stand, damn it! It took me a while to calm down and steady my heart beat , I recalled the words he said before he went to the bathroom, what was that ? shopping time ? with Mello ..shit ! last time he took me with him was before our evolvement with the kira shit even began, the first time he tried leather pants, I had a hard on the entire time we were going in and out of stores..I hope he doesn't try any today, or he could and give me time to deal with my.. problem, anyway, I'm not going to argue with him , it's pointless when it comes to shopping.. Just yesterday he was all depressed and refusing to eat or talk, but after our conversation, he ate everything chocolate in the house and made me go buy him more , two chocolate syrups ,twenty six milk chocolate bars ,and the occasional five chocolate lollipops later , he couldn't even lift his ass off of bed to get some water as he had a sore I wonder why!.. anyway, doesn't matter, Mello _never_ gains weight, he's always been skinny, and by no means does that qualify as a bad thing considering his sexy bod- _no no no!_ I'm wearing boxers , it's not easy to hide my..problem in them.. okay think happy thought! Happy thoughts ! yeah happy thoughts I'm playing with my DS mastering all the levels , yesss I win , Matt ,the king of games ! and then Mello comes in , and tells me how proud he is, oh..Mello, in his leather pants, I know he goes commando, I've seen him naked more times than I can count , he has an amazing body not like mine , he is skinny, though muscular and that badass scar goes all the way to his left hip, speaking of hips-_ shit !_ I really have to stop this, Mello is coming out of the shower , I can tell, the water stopped..

He came out wearing nothing but a towel wrapped loosely around his waist, his beautiful hair dripping " okay your turn, don't stay too long we don't have all day "Oookay that was weird he just smiled at me .."kay Mels " I said smiling back and standing out of bed. His eyes drifted from my face to my…shit ! his eyes widened as he examined my clear hard on with his eyes, "M-morning hard on" I stutter running to the bathroom.

**Mello's POV **

I prepared breakfast while Matt was still in the shower, what's taking him so long? Oh right..I almost forgot..his..little problem..which didn't look that little if I may add ..shit I gotta stop thinking like this about him ! but I can't ..

Matt came in after a few minutes , wearing his favorites red and black striped shirt, with his tight pants and boots , damn those pants ! his hair dripping wet and goggles in hand, he looked so good, he blushed but grinned at me as he went to pore himself coffee, I look at the clock, we're already running late, I pulled him off his seat heading towards the door, he barely had time to grab the keys..

We took Matt's car, I was planning on buying a lot of shit today and it won't fit on my Honda, I turned on the radio since Matt continuously ignored my attempts of starting a conversation..

_Supaa Mario,  
Kasetto Geemu,  
Sega, Sutagula,  
Sutofai, densanki.  
Supaa Mario_

-blasted through the speakers and Matt was singing along now, shaking his head to the beat ..I shut it off ignoring the pout on Matt's face..

I directed him to a store of a friend of mine, I contacted him last night to know when he opens, because I want to be completely free when trying clothes.

We arrived there ,Matt parked and we got out.. I opened the door and was greeted by a cheerful face..

"Long time no see Mello, what have you been doing all this time?"

I honestly don't know would be my answer, but instead I flash him a smile and reply "yeah- you know after the Kira shit and all.. I thought I could relax.. so, where do I start? " I point to the sections the clothes are separated by,

"regulars are there" he points to the left " and- nah.. forget it .. the leathery haven you're looking for is this way" he guides us to a back door, I thought it was a storage room until he opened another door inside the room. It was heaven I tell you, on the right there where leather coats and jackets, on the left, pants, leather short that I didn't know existed, I scanned the room and discovered on the wall behind me were belts and .fuck?

I look at my friend Dan questioningly, he laughs nervously .." yeah well.. some customers requested those and I brought extra. You know just in case"

**Matt's POV**

Holy fuck! We entered a room and it was just LEATHER LEATHER LEATHER and guess what MORE LEATHER ! I look at Mello and I notice he was starring wide eyed behind us.. There.. on the wall.. fucking hell! I could almost hear the thud when my jaw dropped to the floor ..

**I'll update soon my ass! Fucking trimesters with fucking exams all this fucking week and fucking inspiration leaving me. WHAT THE FUCK? **

**The song is called Famikon by crazy loop xD**


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